So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
