dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize