Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
