I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize