Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
