I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
