I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize