omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
