I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
