omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
