Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
