Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
