Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
home. puking in laundry basket.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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