she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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