Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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