I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
