I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
