I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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