so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
