i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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