I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dear god my vagina.
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