its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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