if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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