dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
