I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize