i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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