You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
