I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
PANTIES FOUND
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
