oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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