Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My bed smells like the plague
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
