i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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