he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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