Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
