dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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