I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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