i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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