Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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