I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
