the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
