That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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