Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
