so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
