1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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