My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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