When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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