it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
