Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
