I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is Oprah even human
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize