Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
