He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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