even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
