Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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