hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
