My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
