It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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