let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
