i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
